Feeling a little chubby after a bit of comfort-eating, I asked my Facebook pals if they knew any “unhealthy, dangerous supermodel quick-fixes for losing weight”, ha ha. They were VERY helpful. (Obviously, I don’t recommend any drugs or unhealthful practices like anorexia/bulemia!)

What are some unhealthy, dangerous supermodel quick-fixes for losing weight?

March 30 at 12:10am

  1. Obviously you need to cleanse!! Drink an ungodly concoction of syrup and cayenne pepper and lemon juice for two weeks and you’re set…
  2. Cocaine is my personal favorite… its a bit expensive, but I’m sure your could afford it.
  3. i like the old school methode of swallowing tape worms
  4. Ecstasy works as well. Benefits include that the addiction to it is much easier to kick and it lasts much longer for a cheaper price. On the other side, you can’t fully function while rolling.
    Confessions of an ex- teenage junky are over for now.
  5. Haha.
  6. Calpernia Addams: Besides Colombian Dancing Powder, Taking the “H” Train or Tapeworm Diet Pills – http://img410.imageshack.us/img410/5412/tapeworms.jpg
  7. Nothing like a good meth addiction for losing weight. Course, you might also try to rip your own face off, but it’s a small price to pay.
  8. you could always swallow a tapeworm… I’m sure you can find the capsules on the internet… but I wouldn’t recommend it. It’s pretty gross.
  9. HA, I was seconds too late in denouncing the C, X, T and tapeworm methods…
  10. The thing about meth, aside from MDMA, is that you permanently look disfigured afterward. Its pretty terrible.
  11. Calpernia Addams: Link to image of tapeworm diet pills ad – http://img410.imageshack.us/img410/5412/tapeworms.jpg
  12. You could always go the √ ºber emo route and be anorexic or bulimic.
  13. oh yeah a good case of GEORDIA, SHIGELLA and or AMEOBIC DYSENTARY will make you shed pounds in a matter of DAYS !! (I lost 15 pounds in 3 days)
  14. Its ok Cal… you know you love us for trying. Haha.
  15. Ah, but bulimia doesn’t really help one lose weight, contrary to popular opinion. Anorexia is much more effective at that.
  16. Calpernia Addams: Ahh, old-skool anorexia and bulimia… the classics never go out of style. All of these quick fixes damange your looks, though, ha ha. Maybe I’ll just do the water/lemon juice/cayenne pepper route.
  17. Oh… all thats really left are healthy diet and exercise programs and anorexia and bulimia without the binging.
  18. Not eating and upping the spironolactone for a couple days was always my solution when I was modeling, honey.
  19. Coke and Exos don’t really hurt the physical look if used in moderation.
    Calpernia Addams: My diet commercial starts with “I’ve tried EVERYTHING but diet and exercise, and I still can’t seem to lose weight!”
  20. Eat nothing at all. When you’re about to faint, you’re allowed one cube of cheese. (devil wears prada diet)
  21. I thought spiro made most people gain weight? I need to re-educate myself about hormones, obviously.
  22. well..not sure if it’s unhealty, but i’ve been dropping lots of weight by following a high fiber and protein (but not atkins) diet, pretty much no dairy or sugar, and take senna tea (i think it’s called “Smooth Move” and you can get it at the supermarket) before you go to bed. drink lots of water and get tons of sleep. i’ve even cheated a bit but i… Read More still lose about 1/2 lb to 1 lb a day. i subsist on mini whole wheat bagels, peanut butter, apples, hard boiled eggs and protein bars. and coffee. mmm…coffee. just make sure that you’re eating as many calories as you are burning with physical activity or you’ll go into starvation mode and not lose a bit! PS. you look GREAT… i don’t think you need to lose anything! xoxo oh and my friend champions the saltwater cleanse in the morning before you eat anything. i haven’t tried it yet. you could also do one of those liquid diets, like no solid foods.. but.. eh.. i don’t know.
  23. A couple of my friends recently went vegan raw for a while to lose weight. They lost a good 20 lbs in a couple weeks. No joke, and they were eating PLENTY. Maybe that would help honey.
  24. I vote tapeworm. A friend that grows, so you don’t have to!
  25. if you want the lemonade diet.. aka MAster Cleanse ..i’ll send it to you.. i did it and not did i lose 15 in ten days.. alot of healing things occured in my body.. this cleanse boost your immune ..its uneal how it works
  26. A few macadamia nuts, a table spoon of sour cream a few other fats here and there, NO SUGAR, stevia is a good substitute…….once you get past day 3 you are good to go. 15 lbs in a week- easy.
  27. the 3 C’s:
    cabernet (liquid diet)
    colonics – do these 3 and you’ll be FINE!
  28. phentermine, hydroxycut, chew&spit, don’t eat anything white/ivory/ecru
  29. Peanut Butter & Jelly at 2AM washed down with a chocolate banana milk shake!
  30. Eat your meals and make yourself sick just after them! not healthy though.
  31. the master cleanse. trust me.
  32. white tic tacs…splurge every now and then and have an oragne tic tac
  33. good old fashioned starvation never goes out of style. makes you a better person inside and out.
  34. The tapeworm would be my first choice (if I was born 100 years ago I *totally* would have bought in to that)… otherwise you just gotta go cruise hopping ’til you catch yourself a little Norwalk… the runs will dehydrate the pounds away.
  35. depending on the dress you’re trying to squeeze into if it covers your waist you can do my approach, a neoprene corsette (good luck finding one in stored though, I had to make mine myself) it holds EVERYTHING in place, doesn’t move at all and keeps you warm as hell (mine also takes 4″ off my waist) I strongly recomend it!
  36. Or depending how long you have to lose the weight, lots of natural soup and no carbs for every meal.
  37. Jer Ber Jones: eating hole
  38. Honestly the cleanse done with water, lemon juice, cayenne pepper and a little maple syrup really does work. HOWEVER, before you do it full out, you should start eating a little less a day or two before to allow your stomach to shrink so you don’t develop a strong urge to eat your she or own hand (that wouldn’t be good) But, the cleans really … Read Moreworks. Additionally, if you do feel the need to eat something more substantive, eat something like a really lean piece of chicken breast with green beans. Try to avoid heavy starches and don’t eat after 8 PM. Oh, and drink LOTS of water and cleansing tea.
  39. WTF you’re trying to lose weight?
    Throwing up? Not eating? Taking drugs? (Or so I have heard). By the way, why are you asking? Do you have a super model friend?
    Just cut your calories! Calorie counting can be fun!!! Go down to like 600 a day for a week! You’ll be supprised how much you can still eat! You can still have a chicken pot pie…. and icecream…. but that’s it! Also just increase your activity! Go for a mile walk! I lost 15 pounds in 2 weeks just walking and eating 1500 calories or less a day……. and some of those days I actually almost hit 2000!
  40. Come on, you look fantastic and beautiful as you are! You need no quick fixes. Sooo many of us ladies would love to look like you!
  41. I lost 30 pounds in 5 hours when I had my top surgery!
  42. i can have my morbidly obese female friend sit on your face butt naked..the smell will make you hurl those pounds away in no time…but the smell is ungodly, i shall warn you now.
    Whenever I’ve lost drastic and unhealthy amounts of weight it’s been facilitated by stimulant abuse. That ticks the unhealthy box pretty thoroughly, I think.
  43. On OutQ on Sirius Radio, there was someone hawking a book about a Martha’s Vineyard diet to lose 21 lbs in 21 days and it is supposed to cleanse you and be super nutricious! Here it is – mvdietdetox.com
  44. Calpernia: Ooo so many good suggestions! I’m going to write about it…
  45. Only eat vegetarians?
  46. Lean Cuisine, if you can call it cuisine. It works!
  47. Watch Fox News for a couple of hours str8; Glen Beck, Sean Hannity, Bill O’Reilly and the gang will make you puke for at least two days ;-). So, Fox News is good for at least 10 lbs.
  48. Jer Ber Jones: chinese diet tee……double up….and BEWARE 8hrs later!!!!!!

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