Caution: Gina Grahame aka Gina Gross

Caution: Gina Grahame aka Gina Gross

Gina Grahame (stage name of Gina Gross)

 

Short Version: This page documents several years of harassment from a woman named Gina Gross, sometimes under her legal name and sometimes under the stage name “Gina Grahame”.

In recent years, I have suffered online attacks from a person using the name “Gina Grahame”, many of which traced back to a work IP address which I eventually discovered belonged to someone named Gina Gross. From this work IP address, this person has made various online postings promoting herself and attacking me, using both the stage name “Gina Grahame” and her real name Gina Gross, as detailed below.

After years of following and criticizing my work under the stage name “Gina Grahame”, Ms. Gross particularly disliked one of my parody music videos, saw that my business partner Andrea James had operated the video camera for it, and wrote to the board of a trans-children’s non-profit on which Andrea served, stating that as a “regular donor” Ms. Gross was “starting to question [Andrea's] place within”.  I saw this as the attempt of a long-time hater to act against me by acting against my business partner, and I began documenting Gina’s activities here. Although at that time I only knew her through online postings under what I suspected was a psuedonym, after six months of escalation, it seemed helpful to confrim who at her employer’s IP address was carrying out these attacks. Searching “Gina Grahame” and her employer gave nothing, but “Gina” and her employer gave two top results, one of which was Gina Gross. “Gina Gross” also came up in results promoting Ms. “Grahame”‘s mentor Aleshia Brevard, confirming that Gina Grahame was the stage name of Ms. Gross.

Ms. Gross soon escalated her harassment by engaging a lawyer to send legal threats to me. Her lawyer’s legal threat included “Gina Grahame”‘s original email to the non-profit as well as her legal everyday female name, and I published the legal threats, including the included letter to the non-profit, as part of my documentation of her harassment below.

Her letter to the non-profit was not published until she sent it to me via her own lawyer. Subsequently, an ever growing list of baseless complaints, including “outing”, marketing inappropriate media to children, accessing nonprofit donor records, cyberbullying and more are disproved below with factual citations, quotes and screencaptures. Anyone interested in the truth can click the links, read and see for themselves.

Most recently, Ms. Gross’ second legal action was to file a lawsuit against me personally and my company, dated February 16th, 2012. My lawyers responded with a mountain of evidence supporting my version of events. As of May 2, 2012, she claims in an open letter on her website that she is dropping the lawsuit. Records indicate that the San Francisco County Superior Court has taken the case off its calendar with the notation “THE COURT HAS NO ABILITY TO PROCEED ON THIS MOTION”.

In any case, Ms. Gross maintains her claims against me (disproven in detail below) on her site and in archived interviews elsewhere, and so I am sadly required to maintain this documentation on my site.

My record as a member of the community speaks for itself. If you don’t like my act, that’s fine. But you can’t fault my service.

Attempts to de-escalate: I had retired this page as of 28 July, 2011, assuming Gina had moved on. Instead, she reignited a Twitter and Facebook campaign against us and a non-profit helping children, and re-purposed her entire personal website into a screed describing her obsession with Andrea James and myself. Her claims evolve and change over time. My dealings with Ms. Gross have been and continue to be profoundly unpleasant in the extreme, as detailed below.

Compare this: Percentage of calpernia.com devoted to Gina: .0002%. Percentage of Gina’s site dedicated to me: 100% (at the time of this post’s original writing).

Ask yourself this: How likely is it that I, busy and socially engaged actress/musician/activist/author Calpernia Addams, took time out from my passions and work to seek out an unknown woman in a different city and make the choice to focus my energy on “cyber bullying” and “cyber stalking” her? Versus the likelihood that an unknown woman in a different city, after documented years of following my work, was tipped over the edge after seeing my boundary-pushing artistic work and chose to become obsessed with me, requiring me to defend myself?

The Story 

After disagreements on my philosophies as an out transsexual woman, activist and entertainer spanning years, on December 9th, 2010, under her stage name of “Gina Grahame”, out transsexual actress/ writer, spokesmodel and public figure Gina Gross responded to my comedic music video parody of the song “Like a G6″ by emailing a group at the non-profit Trans Youth Family Allies (which included my business partner Andrea James), in which she communicated to the organization’s Executive Director/Co-Founder that as a “donor” she questioned Andrea’s “place” in the organization due to Gina’s expressed “sadness” at Andrea’s work as cinematographer on my “gay” video parody. I worried that this was an attempt to have Andrea fired from the board over a dislike for my artistic work, and began documenting Gina’s actions and my concerns here. TYFA denied a connection between me and their organization, and affirmed that Andrea’s creative work outside the organization was not connected to TYFA. Ms. Gross then chose to discontinue her donations to TYFA, and also to discontinue her employer’s matching donations, publicly stating that the financial support to the charitable organization had ceased because I refused to publish her comments on this blog (see her Jun. 3, 2011 comment below). At various times online during this situation, Ms. Gross accused me of having “outed” her, a serious accusation in the trans community and provably false since she has been out about her transsexual history for years. Ms. Gross has also accused me of revealing her workplace, which is provably false, as any reading of this documentation of her activities will not reveal the name or nature of her workplace. Ms. Gross further publicly attributes blame to me for the discontinuance of financial support to TYFA, falsely accuses me of gaining illegal access to privileged information and has her lawyer characterize me as a “soft-core” (porn) actress and liar in a recent legal document.

In the interest of compliance with the law, and after some additional information provided by Gina Gross’ lawyers, I am choosing to simplify this timeline of my interactions with Ms. Gross, both under her stage name of “Gina Grahame” and under her legal name. Please find my adjustments and apologies for any inadvertent errors at the end of the timeline below, without any admission of wrongdoing. Before Ms. Gross’ attempts to contact me and those in my professional circles, I did not know Ms. Gross, and it is only though her continued attempts to interact with me and those in my life that this situation continues to progress.

I have made several attempts to de-escalate her interest in me:

  • I sought to end arguments by disabling access to blog commenting system (Comments disabled on Nov. 26, 2010, May 31, 2011, Jun. 3, 2011)
  • Cessation of email contact (Nov. 26, 2010)
  • I offer a continuing statement on this page that I would be willing to retire this page if Gina agreed to cease contact, and cease defamation/libel of me, my business partner and my company. Gina did not respond.
  • Through attempted arbitration, I offered to retire this page if Gina agreed to cease contact, cease defamation and refocus herself on someone/something else. Gina has refused this offer. (June 14-15, 2011)
  • I have met as many demands as possible among those listed in a June 28, 2011 legal document (see below)
  • 28th July, 2011: I retired this page under the assumption that Ms. Gross had ended her attempts to drag us into further disputes.

Upon her re-imagining of her entire personal website as a screed focusing on us, and her use of social media and email to reach out to our friends and associates with her negative thoughts about us, I have no choice but to reactivate this page to (continue to) defend ourselves against her persistent, years-long attacks.

A Few Points

  1. Ms. Gross has stated numerous times that I have “outed” her, a serious and reputation-damaging accusation. This accusation is demonstrably false:  “Gina Grahame” is the stage name used by out transsexual actress/writer, spokesmodel and public figure Gina Gross. On May 31st, 2011, Gina herself posted a link in the comments of this very blog to her own public Jun 17, 2009, YouTube video of herself discussing her transition, entitled “Miss Understood by Gina Grahame, a transsexual history…“. Here, in her own words: “so that your readers can see for themselves who I am – allow me”. Gina is a public figure who often discusses her transsexualism in video, stage and print, and in this public YouTube video uploaded by Gina to her own public YouTube channel, in regards to her transsexual history she states that “the CEO of my company knows” (6m17s) and reverses an earlier “I guess” (5m54s) statement about whether anyone knows that she is trans by saying “scratch that ‘nobody knows‘.” (6m40s). See the preceding links to hear about Gina’s transition in her own words, and as reflected in interviews and public appearances she has given to discuss it. In video, stage, print and online, by her own hand and voice, Gina has been out for years. As a side note, I would never disrespect another transsexual woman’s gender by discussing or addressing pre-transition names.
  2. Ms. Gross has made reputation damaging statements to the effect that I obtained her private information from private TYFA records. This accusation is demonstrably false, most explicitly by the fact that I simply do not have access to TYFA’s donor records. I connected Gina’s stage and legal names using informed guesses and information publicly available on the web, placed there by Gina. I have never revealed her place of employment, home address or phone number. No TYFA information was used to gain Gina Gross’ legal name or workplace. Gina has posted online using her legal name in the preceding links, and has made statements in the comments on this blog regarding her chartiable contributions, employer participation and her stated reasons for her actions. All information relating to Gina on this page has been provided by Gina herself, on various public websites, under her publicly used names OR sent in emails received by me or my business partner Andrea James. I’ve gathered here  her self-published materials and added her harassing emails and comments. Links, screencaps and references are included.
  3. Ms. Gross’ June 12, 2011 claim to my webhost that she “can be fired” as a result of my gathering here the information she has shared about herself, as part of this timeline of what I fear were her efforts to have Andrea James fired from the board of TYFA, is extremely unlikely according to Ms. Gross’ own videotaped statements and California law, at least where her transsexual status is concerned. According to Gina, her company was matching her donations to Trans Youth Family Allies (See her Jun. 3, 2011 comment below) – until she pulled the plug. And in the above referenced video (6m17s) she states that her company’s CEO “knows” about her history of transition. Finally, a quick search for California EEO laws reveals references to California state law prohibiting employment discrimination based on gender identity or gender expression. Contrary to her claims, Gina cannot be fired due to her transsexual history, which is known to her employers already anyway. One thing that may reflect negatively on Gina in a professional sense is that many of her harassing comments and emails appear to have been sent from her work IP address.
  4. While anyone may give or withdraw support as they choose, Ms. Gross publicly ascribed her cessation of support for Trans Youth Family Allies to my refusal to post her comments on my blog (see below). Despite Ms. Gross and I having no agreement or preexisting dicsussion of how my publication of her comments on my blog might affect her donations to a charitable organization to which I have no connection, Ms. Gross has made me a stated and named part of her decisions regarding her support of a non-profit charitable organization benefitting children. I hope readers will continue donating to TYFA to make up for Gina’s withdrawal of support.

    Gina Grahame commented on Caution: Gina Grahame – Calpernia Addams Diary:
    Submitted on 2011/06/03 at 1:57 PM

    Oh, and Cal, since you didn’t see fit to post my response to your little attach piece here, I’ve decided to pull my support – along with the matching funds from my company – away from TYFA. I’m sure Kim and the group will want to thank you both personally :-)

    Email: [email protected]
    IP address: 198.71.26.34

  5. In Summary: My music video had absolutely nothing to do with TYFA and was never aimed at or intended for children. Andrea’s work as camera operator on the video had nothing to do with her service with TYFA. I have not outed Gina (see above), I have never published her place of work/address/phone number, and I never accessed TFYA records. Any statements to the contrary are lies. I have offered to retire this page many times, and have indeed done so once, until Gina’s continued work against us escalated. At every step, I have sought means to de-escalate the fervent attempts of this woman to slander, libel and attack us. Read the information below, make your own decisions, and definitely remove all support from me if you feel that I have done something terrible. But the facts speak for themselves, and I believe that any rational reading of them will reveal my attempts to defend myself and the work of my business partner against a long-time detractor who moves from point to point as each previous one is disproved in an attempt to waste our time and besmirch our reputations in the community.

Timeline

2007-2010: Gina begins communications under her stage name of “Gina Grahame”

  • Apr. 4, 2007 – Gina contacts Andrea via email under her stage name in order to solicit support for a play, which we decline, entitled “The Incredibly True Tale of Two Transsexual Women: “INSIDE/OUT”- A dramedy about the women they were not born to be…”:
    From: Gina Grahame ‪<[email protected]>‬
    Date: Wed, Apr 4, 2007 at 10:49 PM
    Subject: The Incredibly True Tale of Two Transsexual Women: "INSIDE/OUT"- A dramedy about the women they were not born to be...
    To: [email protected]
    Hello Andrea, Here's YOUR opportunity to interview these remarkable women and help drum up interest, funding and contacts to get this incredibly true story on stage where it belongs. Live theatre:  two acts, 90 minutes - covering ten years in the extraordinarily provocative lives of authors Aleshia Brevard and Gina Grahame. Aleshia: A flamboyant California divorcee, actress, college professor, and former Playboy Bunny enjoying the success of her first book, 'The Woman I Was Not Born To Be'.  She is a 'pioneer' transsexual, having had surgery in 1962 following teenage years as a female impersonator at the world famous Finocchio's in San Francisco. Gina: A shy, yet beautiful young bartender struggling to break free of her fundamentalist Christian childhood and create a new life in Florida. Her surgery, a mere six weeks prior to plays opening, followed years spent within strict gender boundaries as a popular athlete, male model, and actor. 'INSIDE/ OUT' explores the human condition with hilarity, great tenderness, and truly unique insight. It's a wild ride as Aleshia and Gina anatomize family, self-worth, marriage, religion, feminism, sex/love, men/women, gay/straight, and all stops in between. Please help us tell the story.  You are in a unique position to support us and we thank you in advance for doing so in whatever way you are able.  Mostly we need your connections and good word.  Read a sample of INSIDE/OUT…   Find out what industry professionals are saying…      CLICK HERE TO READ MORE! We would also like to take this opportunity to thank you for your continual support of our community.  You are doing important work.   We look forward to talking with you in the near future, and appreciate any interest or suggestions you may have for helping bring this theatrical endeavor to a larger audience. Warm Regards,  Gina Grahame
  • Nov. 3, 2008 – I publish “We Come From You” on my blog at Psychology Today’s website, a plea for common ground between trans and non-trans people. As expected, there are comments from many different perspectives.
  • Jan. 11, 2009 – Gina adds Andrea as a friend on Facebook:
  • Nov, 23-26, 2010 – Gina leaves several commentson my Psychology Today article under her stage name, “Gina Grahame”, which is the first time I remember us communicating (see screencap above). Comments begin to veer from the article to general criticism of me as a bad example of transsexualism (mostly due to my connections with the gay community and my cabaret career), and as the thread descends into embarrassing trolling and flaming, I disable further comments. Bold emphasis mine:
    Now this is the Calpernia I
    Submitted by Gina Grahame on November 23, 2010 - 2:12pm
    We Come From You - Transsexual People and Politics
    Now this is the Calpernia I know!... while the original article was an articulate plea for tolerance, your repsonses to Michelle reveal the denagrading, attacking, and familiar tone of too many nights spent on a drag stage. You believe you are right because of your personal history around Christians - yet you belittle Michelle for the very same reasons?.. how is this so? Painting all Christians as intolerant bigots who want us all to die is no different than them painting all GLBT peole as sexual deviants and fetishists out destroy the fabric of society while screwing anything that moves. Neither is true and you know it! Your directive to 'go to ten churches' would yield no different result than 'go to 10 private schools or day care centers' and do the same. Transsexuals should not be discriminated against for positions, but they shouldn't automoatically cry discrimination when things don't go there way. This country has remained a Moderate-Conservative society has been since its founding. And you can find nearly 50% of the population will be against every piece of social agenda you wish to discuss - gay rights, abortion, gun control, welfare, tax structure, immigration - pick one. So while I applaud your plea for tolerance from outside the community, wouldn't it be nice to start with some tolerance for those within?

    ———————————————————————————————————————————————————

  • Submitted by Gina Grahame on November 23, 2010 - 2:27pm
    Anna-Elizabeth, right on Woman!
    We Come From You - Transsexual People and Politics
    Well said Anna-Elizabeth! Well said indeed. Too many activists today seem to believe their own press and live under the notion that 'she who talks loudest,wins'.
    If you ever feel the need for ally, you have one in me.

    I would not say that Ms. Gross knew me in any way other than as a consumer of my creative works, and her characterizations of me here and elsewhere were false and frankly disturbing.

  • Nov. 26, 2010 - Still under the “Gina Grahame” stage name, Gina makes the following comment on my Psychology Today blog and then sends the following email to me. In light of this ongoing situation, I am choosing to publish this and all future communications at my discretion:
    Submitted by Gina Grahame on November 26, 2010 - 11:25am
    Bored indeed
    We Come From You - Transsexual People and Politics
    Yes Calpernia, you are a legend in your own mind. Apparantly anyone who doesn't fall at your feet is somehow jealous and a freak while you - the gods chosen vessel and holder of the 'mirror mirror on the wall - remain this community's only hope for mass acceptance. And please, do start yawning; I'm sure that's far more likely to sell than your singing.

    Ms. Gross really does not seem to like my singing.
    ———————————————————————————————————————————————————

     freply-to	[email protected]
    to	[email protected]
    date uploading imFri, Nov 26, 2010 at 9:45 PM
    subject	Blog Profile Contact: A private note, as the comments section seem be disabled - I'm not here to fight	Important mainly because of the people in the conversation.
    11/26/10
    From: Gina Grahame <[email protected]>
    Comments: Calpernia, I’m sending you this privately as the comments sections seem to be disabled now.  As I originally commented, I thought your actual article was quite good. What bothered me came in the comment/reply section and the wide swatch with which you seem to paint, for example: because you personally have had bad experiences with people in the church, you paint all Christians as ignorant and intolerant bigots. While I maypersonally no longer go to church, it was a minister and my parent’s churchgoing friends that helped them to accept my transsexuality – so I saw your swipe as an attack on my family.
    Further, your wide swatch is also prevalent when it comes to those of us choosing to not lead the parade down Main Street. Just as the word ‘transgender’ has evolved far from its intended meaning by Virginia Prince, ‘stealth’ seems to have become a synonym for ‘shameful coward’ to you and many of prominent activists.   Do you really expect to belittle my, and my sisters lives with phony, sarcastic phrases like ‘lie about your first period and girl scout days’ and not expect someone to strike back?..
    You are correct that I find the word ‘tranny’ to be a distasteful slur,regardless of the fact that many in the community use to self-describe. Andyes, it upsets me to hear those most visible in our community eliminating thedistinctions between transsexual (medical condition, treated by hormones and surgery) and transgender (an expression of gender based on cultural/societalnorms).
    Lastly, my public speaking on transsexuality was restricted to college classrooms and I have never listed the words ‘transsexual’ or‘transgender’ on my resume – I did, however, list the teachers I studied with and the workshops I participated in while learning my craft –so ‘professional transsexual’ is a mantle I never aspired to or achieved.
    Girl, I’m not here to fight with you – but ‘live and let live’ is atwo-way street. It’s your call.
    [email protected]
  • I choose to end email contact with Gina at this time.

2010: Gina Begins Writing to Our Professional and Personal Contacts

 

  • Dec. 9, 2010 - Gina begins writing to “Kim and Group” (which includes Andrea) at TYFA, telling the organization’s Executive Director/Co-Founder that as a “donor” Gina “question[s]” Andrea’s place on the board, purportedly stemming from feelings of sadness due to Andrea’s involvement as cinematographer on my “gay” (Gina’s words) comedic video parody of “Like a G6″, which is indeed provocatively titled “Likin’ Big Dicks” and features humorously sexy male gogo-dancers. Neither I, nor Andrea’s outside work, are connected with TYFA in any way. TYFA later affirms this in an email to Gina. The text of this email is quoted from Gina’s legal document, received from her on June 28th, 2011. Prior to my receipt of her document, this email was not published on my blog:
    From: <[email protected]>
    Date: Thu, Dec 9, 2010 at 9:45 PM
    Subject: Hello from a regular donor.
    To: [email protected]
    Hello Kim and Group,
    Gina here - I'm entering my second year as regular donor to TYFA and
    am starting to question Andrea James place within.
    I know she's bright and I've heard of the good work she does, but to
    see her 'latest project', as Director of Photography for the gay video
    "Liking Big Dicks" co-starring Calpernia Addams
    (http://vimeo.com/17630028) leaves me saddened.
    I'm not here to pass judgment on someone else's life or what they do
    for a living; I am here to say I hope the parents of young transgender
    children don't find this video.
    Gina Grahame.

    As a reader, what do you think was the purpose of this email to the ED of TYFA highlighting Gina’s status as a “donor” who “questions” Andrea’s place at the organization? Why describe the disliked video as “gay”?

  • Dec. 15, 2010 – Alarmed by Gina’s emails to TYFA, and upon reviewing the communications I’ve seen from her in the past, I post the first iteration of this page, entitled “Caution: Gina Grahame” to document the situation. Communications of the nature of those involved in this situation led me to fear for my reputation in the event that anyone receiving further communication from Ms. Gross about me, my creative work or business associates was not aware of Ms. Gross’ longstanding interest in communicating with me and my business associates or commenting on my work. At this point, I chose to use Gina’s stage name when referring to her here, but as her attacks evolved to contacting our philanthropic, professional and personal contacts and sending legal threats, this page later evolved to reference these actions by her legal (obviously, female and not pre-transition) name. 
  • May. 31, 2011 – Gina leaves the following comment on a previous iteration of this page, including a link to a YouTube video wherein she discusses her transition “so that your readers can see for themselves who I am – allow me“. I choose not to approve it at that time. As in previous communications, Ms. Gross uses a tone which I took as sarcasm. I chose at that time not to respond to her reputation-damaging characterization of my comedic parody music video as “soft-porn”, nor her incorrect statement that my music video was in any way “connected to children’s gender groups”. I also chose at that time not to enable her own stated wish to communicate to my readers “who she is” through the linked video in which she discusses her transition. In light of her own attempts to inform readers “who she is” by linking a video about her transition, her claims of being “outed” by me are particularly difficult to believe. This comment responds to my noting of her desire to attach herself creatively to Tennessee native and transsexual actress/model Aleisha Brevard, interesting because I am also a Tennessee native and transsexual actress/model:
    Gina Grahame commented on Caution: Gina Grahame - Calpernia Addams Diary:
    Submitted on 2011/05/31 at 11:23 AM
    Ha!.. attached herself?... So that's why Aleshia and her publisher asked me to write the introduction to Aleshia's second book and why she considers me her daughter :-)
    As for contacting your 'past contacts' - hardly. I'm simply looking out for the public perception and image of gender charities I donate to and my comment pertained to Andrea James, not you. But, since you seem to make everything about you, then let me say I don't believe your soft-porn videos are helpful to the public image of transsexuality - especially when they are connected to children's gender groups. And no amount of speeches in Sarah Palin glasses and business suits will counter 'the glamour' of your 'Likin' Big Dicks' videos.
    oh, and Cal, since you didnt' seem interested in linking my YouTube to your article so that your readers can see for themselves who I am - allow me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ShS9kJ33RsM
    Gina [email protected]
    198.71.26.250
  • Jun. 1, 2011 – In an email received by Andrea, Gina claims to have stopped donations to TYFA from her and her employer because Andrea discussed Gina’s concerns about my music video with me and because I refused to publish Gina’s response on my blog.
  • Jun. 3, 2011- Gina leaves the following comment on a previous iteration of this page, which I chose not to approve at that time. Gina Grahame commented on Caution: Gina Grahame - Calpernia Addams Diary:
    Submitted on 2011/06/03 at 1:57 PM
    Oh, and Cal, since you didn't see fit to post my response to your little attach piece here, I've decided to pull my support - along with the matching funds from my company - away from TYFA. I'm sure Kim and the group will want to thank you both personally :-)
    Gina [email protected]
    198.71.26.34
  • Jun. 3, 2011In light of Gina’s escalating contact and her emails regarding Andrea and myself to TYFA (with whom I am unaffiliated), and her attempts to publicly link me to her withdrawal of support from TYFA, I decide to do further research on just who exactly this person is. A simple Googling of “Aleshia Brevard +Gina” (her creative partner) reveals several instances of a “Gina Gross” based in San Francisco posting supportive comments about out transsexual actress Aleshia Brevard and uploading some images relating to Aleshia’s autobiography on Amazon. From there, it was a short leap to guess and confirm that “Gina Grahame” was the stage name of Gina Gross, the legal name under which Gina has posted both on the aforementioned articles of transsexual interest and accompanying her photo and personal information on publicly available professional websites.
  • Jun. 11, 2011 – In an attempt to salvage her support for TYFA, Gina is sent a conciliatory email including a statement from Andrea. The statement enjoins Gina to continue her support of the children who benefit from TYFA’s work, and also maintains Andrea’s right and intention to (separately from TYFA) participate in media production that may be suitable for adults only  (such as our production of “The Vagina Monologues”,  preservation/display of the Academy Award nominated film ‘Undertow’ and the R-rated film ‘Ma Vie en Rose’, or my parody music video).
  • Jun. 12, 2011 – Gina responds with a refusal, and threatens legal action.
  • Jun. 12, 2011 – In an attempt to suppress this information, Gina contacted my webhost and made the claim that this timeline of what I feared were her efforts to have Andrea fired from the board of TYFA “can get me fired“. See point #3 under the “A Few Points” heading above for more on this.
  • June 14-15, 2011 – Through arbitration, I offer to retire this page if Gina agrees to cease contact, cease defamation and refocus herself on someone or something else. Gina has refused this offer.
  • June 28th, 2011 – I receive a seven page document from Ms. Gross’ lawyer, pointing out what they feel are inaccuracies or other problems with this page and demanding removal and an apology. See my response below under the “Response to June 28th Document” heading.

Response to June 28th Document

First, I wish to sincerely apologize for any inaccuracies in this blog posting, although I admit no wrongdoing. I bear no malice for Ms. Gross, and have made several attempts to deescalate this situation including a mediator, indeed offering to retire the page in full if Ms. Gross agrees to cease contact, cease defamation and basically leave us alone. In response to Ms. Gross’ latest communication with me, through her lawyer, and without admitting any wrongdoing, I nonetheless want to publish the following items which they describe as “three factual errors”, and apologize for any inadvertent inaccuracies:

  • According to Gina’s document, she sent a single email to TYFA on December 9, 2010, rather than “emails”.
  • According to Gina’s document, Gina did not discontinue or threaten to discontinue donations in the December 9, 2010 email.
  • According to Gina’s document, Gina had not sought to have Andrea James removed from the charity’s board.

Furthermore, in voluntary compliance with Gina’s legal demands, I have removed “all existing content from the webpage at URL address http://www.calpernia.com/?=gina+grahame” by redirecting that URL address to the Google homepage, which is not owned or operated by me. UPDATE: In light of Ms. Gross’ repurposing of her website as a statement against me alongside escalated attempts to smear our reputation, I have re-enabled the search functionality of my site. 

The June 28th document goes on to raise the following issues, with which I do not agree:

  • Gina’s document states that this webpage publicly “outed” Gina by disclosing for the first time Gina’s legal name based on unauthorized disclosures of private confidential information that Gina had provided to TYFA. This is demonstrably false on several levels, most obviously because I simply do not have access to TYFA’s donor records. See #1 under the “A Few Points” heading above to learn more about why this statement is false. As a side note, “outing” is not generally understood to relate to someone’s name, especially in this context. “Outing” is the act of disclosing a gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender (LGBT) person’s true sexual orientation or gender identity without that person’s consent.
  • Gina’s document wrongfully attributes “malice” to my documentation of Gina’s efforts involving myself and Andrea James. I bear no malice for Ms. Gross. I have been willing to remove this page at any time provided that Ms. Gross agrees to basically leave me and my business partner alone. I also willingly worked with a mediator, making the same offer: Leave us alone and I will be happy to retire the page. At every stage, this page has been a response to Ms. Gross’ active attempts to involve me, my business partner and our creative work in her life.
  • Gina’s document attributes ownership of this website to my company, Deep Stealth Productions. The website is personally and privately owned be me.
  • Gina’s document makes numerous other accusations and characterizations regarding me and my business partner, with which I do not agree and which I do not believe will survive an anti-SLAPP motion much less close legal scrutiny. Some of her accusations, statements and characterizations I have documented in this process could leave Ms. Gross exposed to legal damages for defamation or libel, but legal action against Ms. Gross has never been my desire.

Summary

In summary, I hope that this documentation can speak for itself as a necessary response to Ms. Gross’ communications with my personal and professional contacts regarding my creative work and my business partner’s place on the board of non-profit TYFA, and her malicious accusations and characterizations against me. I do apologize for any inadvertent inaccuracies without admitting any wrongdoing, and have made attempts to comply with the demands in the document from her lawyer. I will continue to correct any demonstrably false information above, as I am made aware of it.

In compliance with Ms. Gross’ document, I have updated this page to include the information her document lists in apposition to what she considers “three factual errors”, issued this public apology for any inadvertent errors (although I do not admit wrongdoing), and I have removed “all existing content from the webpage at URL address http://www.calpernia.com/?=gina+grahame“, as requested (UPDATE: See above). I will be happy to update my social networking connections of this page’s changes as requested if Ms. Gross still wishes, and am willing to comply with their request to keep this public apology in place for at least six months. I am unable to consider compliance with their demand that I refrain from mentioning the names Gina Grahame or Gina Gross for two years until I am assured that Ms. Gross will cease actions requiring the defense of my reputation, name and art.

I continue to offer to retire this page if Ms. Gross simply agrees to leave us alone. Any legal action against me will be required to survive an anti-SLAPP motion and will then be vigorously defended against.