Calpernia and Candis Cayne on TMZzz

TMZ Again

Well, I’ve learned my lesson AGAIN. Which means I never really learned it the other time(s), ha ha. I’ve now been featured on TMZ (a notorious Hollywood gossip site) a third time, this time next to the gorgeous Candis Cayne, under the friendship-enhancing headline “Who’d You Rather?” My previous appearances on the site have been the identity-affirming “One of These Women Was Born a MAN!” and my adventures with hotties Reichen Lehmkuhl and Ryan Barry on poker night: “Reichen Makes on Scary Woman“.

Candis is winning the TMZ poll handily… Blondes do have more fun! The same forces driving the “contest” in her favor probably also explain why she has a super hot husband and I’m single, haha (Insert “Sad Laugh of Woody Woodpecker” here). It couldn’t have helped that I went out the door without doing ANYTHING to my hair, and thus leaving my already large head to look even more like a Milk Dud (or the now-classic Zardoz Flying Head).

Ahh well, there’s no such thing as bad publicity (unless you’re one of a very small number of people whose exploits have been captured on video and passed around certain websites). I have to thank Savannah of Lousiville, KY for the gown I was wearing. She gave it to me as a gift on my last night there. Thanks, Savannah! Mwah!