Activist

I get TONS of email… Metric tons. Thank God it’s not paper mail, or my correspondents would be responsible for the deforestation of a large chunk of rainforest. Most of it is routine work stuff, but there are lots of young trans and gay people looking for support and advice, and lots of people my age and older looking for information. Thankfully, my own trials and tribulations have taught me things to say when someone needs support, and I can refer information seekers to Andrea’s megalithic tsroadmap.com most of the time.

Occasionally, I get notes from people who are not affiliated with, or familiar with, the GLBT community at all. With these people, I’m usually starting from scratch and it can be exhausting explaining things to them. Usually, they lump the GLB and T into one homogeneous community, for which I can’t fault them too much since the lumped-together term “GLBT” is used so often by advocates. As I’ve said before, lots of anti-gay sentiment seems to spark from a discomfort with what they consider non-gender-appropriate behavior anyway — a woman acting “too butch” or a guy acting “too girly” — and that’s a problem faced by gay and trans alike. I think we fight lots of the same battles, so I’m glad to have the GLB’s as allies. Today, I got this note from Gabriela in Bulgaria, edited for relevance (~~~ means removed boring parts), emphasis mine:

Hi there, my name is Gabriela ~~~ from Bulgaria. ~~~ Sorry for my English, it’s not the best. I want to ask you a question which is friendly. I don’t try to offence you, to argue or something. Lately I became interested in transsexual people in many reasons. Not because I want to be one of them or such things but because there are something I can’t figure out. It’s just so interesting to me if you’re actually like everyone else on the Planet, why do you need some extra attention when you have different sexuality. Can’t you be happy in your house, job, with your friends. Why everyone who is gay, lesbian, trans and others need to show here – youtube, porno movies, work in adult clubs…I hope you understood my question and I will be glad if you answer . And again – it is friendly. See you!

Gabriela

Here’s my quickie reply, typed all in a stream of consciousness. Knowing that she is not a native English speaker, I tried to write in a way that would translate more clearly in an online translator, so the sentence structure may be a bit clunky in places. What do you think?

Hi Gabriela, Thank you for your letter, and I apologize that I don’t speak Bulgarian. I love the Bulgarian Women’s Choir and listen to them all the time!

Most transsexual people do live quiet lives. For every trans person you see on YouTube or television, there are hundreds who live quietly.

I don’t know about porno movies and adult clubs… that is not my world or interest. But most gay, lesbian and trans people want to be free to talk about their lives and interests, just like heterosexual people are.

Heterosexual people have big ceremonies (weddings) to celebrate their marriages. They place photos of their lovers and spouses on their desks at their jobs. They sing songs on the radio about love and sex with their lovers. They kiss and sleep together and love each other in television and movies. Every day, in every way, heterosexual people scream their lives and their sexuality to each other, and to everyone in the world. And people happy with their gender role (being treated as male or female by society) have all the same freedoms to live as they want to live.

Imagine if you could never talk about how you felt inside, who you loved, your hopes and dreams. Imagine if you could not look at men, or talk to your friends about them, or be with them. Or imagine if you loved being a woman but everyone told you that you MUST behave and live like a man. Imagine if you never saw images in the media that reflected how you felt and who you loved.

Gay, lesbian and trans people have been ridiculed, mocked and attacked their entire lives for having the same feelings of love, need, desire and interest that hetero people have. Everyone has told them over and over that they are evil, sick, disgusting, crazy. With all that pressure, it doesn’t surprise me that some gay, lesbian and trans people end up in porno movies and adult clubs… where else are they welcomed? Not in hetero society.

So nowadays many gay, lesbian and trans people make an effort to tell people about their lives so that people will understand that they exist and have the same hopes and dreams. Some day, we will not NEED to say it so loudly, because it will already be understood. But for now, many people do not understand or care that we exist, so we have to make ourselves known and heard. Some of us do that in wild ways, and some of us do that in subtle ways. Just like hetero people, there are all kinds of us.

But basically, we are just human beings who want to be able to love, live and laugh without fear and punishment.

Calpernia

This is an ULTRA simplified argument, but I didn’t know how else to begin to make these points for someone who speaks a different language and has no connection with the community. What do you think?