Essay for CD/TVs
Special note: I’m only linking this article because I think it is a valuable perspective (one of many) for crossdressers and transvestites who are considering medical transition as part of their erotic fantasy scenario. For transition based on gender identity issues, see TSroadmap.com!
Correction: I originally attributed this article to “Miss Fiorella”, but an acute reader pointed out that the contact info on the archived article was actually “Miss DORELLA”. Article updated!
There is an olllld article written by a trans woman named Miss Dorella called “So You Want to Be a T-Girl” in which she very harshly describes the clash between her fantasy view of transition (apparently driven by erotic desires and beginning with early cross dressing) and the reality of her particular transition (apparently filled with disillusionment). She’s incredibly biased and single minded, giving loving descriptions of cross dressing prefaced with We’ve all enjoyed (this or that cross dressing trope) type statements, alongside vilifications of out transwomen, “crass” drag queens and other gender travelers that she doesn’t like, but there are MANY people going through a process similar to hers who could benefit from reading about her experience. While the eros-driven transition is not something I connect with, and I disagree with tons of things that she says, many of her basic assertions about how the reality of an eros-driven transition clashes with the fantasy sound right on the money. Although especially suited as a warning for people who feel large sexual and erotic components when thinking about transition, I believe everyone considering transition should include this essay among the many viewpoints they gather as they research. Just spoon up a big, sparkly grain of salt to go with it as you read.
So You Want to Be a T-Girl by Miss Dorella
(And for a more balanced take on transition without the heavy sexual element, of course the best resource on the net is TSroadmap.com by Andrea James!)
Her discriptions of all of the transgender terms are ridiculous, wrong, and narrow minded. As far as I'm concerned "drag queen" and "she-male" can refer to either a job title of a transsexual (i.e. a means to an end)… or a type of transgendered person. Not to mention, they completely contradict her theory that every last one of the 6 billion people are all different, and that there are 6 billion different sexualities in the world. As does her theory that every transsexual's story is exactly the same. REALLY?!? There are 6 billiion people, ALL different with different sexualities. Yet, all of this type of people lead the exact same life? Or all drag queens and shemales are exactly the same and do what they do for the same reason. Just… WOW. And her "know-it-all" attitude is the worst part of all. She clearly believes that her experience is the end all, be all… and that she believes she knows about other people's experiences simply from what she's viewed online or whatnot (because I have no doubt in my mind that she's one of those creepy lurkers who gazes at pretty transsexuals' pictures and porn for hours on end, wishing she could be so pretty, and thinking she knows SO much about them from that alone). AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! So frustrating… >=/
LOL And I quote:
"But each person is different. Each person is unique… no two women produce the exact same amount of estrogen and testosterone during pregnancy. And even if they did, it would not matter, each child born into this world will still be uniquely different because of the variations in the hormone production due to the lifestyle of the mother before and during pregnancy.
But let’s just say that every mother ever to have lived produced the exact same amounts of hormones, and that they were released at the exact same time on every baby ever to be born… each child would still be uniquely different because of genetics."
Then halfway down the page:
"You are no different than anyone else. "
This person is truly a fool! It's no wonder she was so incredibly SHOCKED to find that transitioning isn't as simple, easy, and fun as she thought it would be. She's an idiot!
I agree… the main reason I'm linking to this is because there are so many TV/CD's out there who think that "going ahead and DOING IT (Unnnghh!)" with surgery and hormones will be "the ultimate sexy forced femme crossdressing rush", and Miss Fiorella uses language they can understand to tell them that it will most certainly NOT be "the ultimate sexy forced femme crossdressing rush". For regular trans women, who are transitioning because of gender identity issues that go beyond simple sexual gratification, they will instantly recognize that Miss Fiorella's experiences won't apply to them at all.
At least, that's what I hope is happening with this post, ha ha.
I see where you're going with this yet at the same time for those of us with identity issues this kind of stuff can be pretty dangerous to the new-to-the-subject and still trying to figure out their own feelings. The whole thing reeks of "trannier than thou" and my own self-discovery was pushed back by people who said that such and such way (read: their way and their experience) was the One and Only True Definition Of A REAL Transsexual.
Well, I read through 'Chapter one' and thought on the whole that it was well worth study. Certainly if you needed a reality check. Yes, definitely recommended.
Lucy Melford
I’m not sure I can reccommend So You Want To Be A T-Girl to anyone who is at all new to or confused about the subject D:
It’s basically the pentultimate example of “trannies than thou” which is the incredibly shitty attitude that one’s own experience and feelings are the only valid ones and everyone else is faking. Unfortunately the first trans people I met had this kind of attitude and had me convinced I wasn’t a “real” trans person for longer than was really necessary.
I am a transsexual, started transitioning at age 49. (approaching 2 years full time in a month).
I find some of the stuff in that article plain out silly. (granted, I am looking at it from the transsexual point of view)
I do wonder what would have been her reaction to me being on stage topless dancing at the straight strip club besides the 21 year old GGs. (and the GGs had no idea I was a transsexual until my friend told them). They thought I was a GG.
I am living proof that being out in the world as a woman and being taken for a GG can be a realization for a transsexual.
I was even using the women's locker room at the fitness center to change, shower, etc. None of the GG's in there ran screaming out of there saying "there's a transsexual in here". As far as they were concerned, I was just one of the girls. I am one of the girls, I simply have a birth defect I need to correct.
Bobbie Jo
WOW!! The transvestite and cross dresser descriptions are backwards, and while I know plenty of TS that work as female impersonators/drag queens, it is just a way to earn money for surgery. Most places won't even allow TS to perform after GRS anyway. Where I live, shemales are considered sex workers by everyone, including transsexuals and other transgenders. As to the not wanting GRS statement, I don't know…. I have TS friends that want to have surgery, but they are too fearful of an unfavorable surgical outcome, or just can't get the money. I know others that can't have it for heath reasons. I plan to have it as soon as I can afford it. Although I didn't always feel this way. I tried my best to avoid having to transition till I was 24, when I came out. that was almost 21 years ago
Like you, I think Miss Fiorella's point about not moving forward with transition for erotic/sexual reasons is good to note. I personally feel that if the desire to be female isn't present long before sexual puberty, any level of transition is probably not the best course of action. I have to agree with you about the importance of the right people reading that article in the hopes of avoiding a horrible irreversible mistake.
Shay
ah, I think my transition is a big mistake myself. BUT based on my history i feel it is negotiable.
I never had much action in the women department, and they still bully me around for some reason.
My physical appearance never matched my age, i'm 33 and look 23.
No one would ever marry me, and so, while i don't pass as Female, i get relief from my various Dysphorias
with HRT. It probably is a mistake for MOST who have a fantasy to be flawless, but no one has ever loved me
so I'm making my life liveable for myself. The time and money it will take to pass is like 10 years and thousands of dollars. Do seem to be able to get men easily these days. I've been forced to be "gay", but it's better than being ALONE.
Well, I will read it later. Personally, it just seems easier to transition in private without trying SO hard.
My first "landmind" as Cali calls them, was some guy Cali said "had a personality disorder" who had the
need to attack me personally. "Bad Questions to ask a Transsexual"
So, I really do ignore what others think, it sure does help. Currently my fanclub is "mad" I cut off all my hair, but none of my critics have paid for ANY of my Hormones…I wonder what pills they are taking.
Sexual Fetishes are something else, and play a HUGE role in transsexualism I've found, as MOST
adults are so hung up sexually and so perverted sexually, they can't even display a mature degree of understanding as to why someone might want to change their Gender.
On a lighter note: Bought one of your Mp3's on Amazon, and i like it.