Calpernia’s Advice When You’re Feeling Down

Thursday, July 03, 2008

Categories: Diary • In Print • Advice

Today, someone wrote to me because they were dealing with some tough times, so I sent them a few words about how I deal with the bad moments in life. I thought I’d share the note here, as it pretty well sums up my outlook on things.

Hi ****,

It does hurt when people say cruel things about me, but I learned a kind of strength from my time in the military that lets me take a deep breath, fully acknowledge to myself that it hurts, and just keep soldiering forward anyway. Sometimes, I can even get enough perspective to laugh at just how horrible a situation is. Sometimes, things are just so mean, harsh, dead-on hurtful, disappointing, tragic, terrible, perfectly exactly what I DIDN’T want to happen that it just blows my mind and all I can do is laugh at it.

Even before the military, one time on a hot summer day in Tennessee, my little brother and I were walking along a country road and a pickup truck driving by us threw a paper cup full of melted ice right in our faces. It happened so quickly… whoosh of the truck driving by followed instantly by a slash of cold water and ice right in our faces, the truck gone before we even had a second to react. It was so perfectly mean… and there was absolutely nothing two kids walking alone could do about it as the truck was already far away over the hills… that we just looked at each other and laughed.

I still feel bad sometimes, and feel battered and bruised by things both big and small that people say and do, or even just my general situation. The military saying was, “Suck it up and drive on.” and I tell myself that pretty often. It doesn’t mean I have to pretend that the situation isn’t terrible, or that it doesn’t hurt, or that it’s even going to get any better any time soon. But nonetheless, I find myself slowly getting back up and moving forward rather than letting myself become paralyzed. And usually, once I’m up and moving (emotionally or psychologically), things actually do seem better and I can get back on track to make some positive adjustments.

I wish you all my best, and I hope this might be helpful to you. I’ve never written this out before, so if you don’t mind I’m even going to post it on my blog, but I wrote it for you specifically, I didn’t just cut and paste this into this note. Take care!

Calpernia