Calpernia Addams Diary

Screencaps courtesy of my iTunes Season Pass for Transamerican Love Story

LINKS:

Transamerican Love Story site on Logo

Watch Transamerican Love Story via iTunes

TLS Group on FaceBook

Read Andrea’s TLS Blog and her blog on Episode 04 specifically

Read Shawn’s EP 04 TLS Blog

Hear Jim’s TLS Phone Message for EP 04

See Alec Mapa’s “MapaCam” behind the scenes

Watch Andrea and me chat about this episode in “NEXT!” on LogoOnline.com

Episode 05 Recap - Country Line Dancing Episode

Episode 03 Recap - Yacht Episode

Episode 02 Recap - Cooking Dinner

Wow! So I got to introduce the boys to my crazy showgirl life in this episode, complete with a sampling of what my shows are like from both sides of the stage. A lot happened this episode, and halfway through the series you can see some of the initial shock dropping away as we actually get to know each other a little bit.

Click below to read more… I wrote a good long entry on this one! SPOILER ALERT!!!

For this episode, I knew I was going to do a number on stage and decided to use this as an opportunity to write my own song rather than using someone else’s material. Singing is something I’m still working on, but I knew I had a sense of humor and the ability to talk, so I went to a coffee shop one morning early in the show’s schedule and sat down to write the most outrageous lyrics I could think of, within the limits of the pop genre. The stage is all about larger-than-life appearance (check!) and personality (check!) so I adopted a larger than life character and created ”Stunning”. I was laughing SOOO much as I was writing the lyrics, people were staring at me, ha ha. I took it home and recorded a basic version, added some beats and music behind it, and took it in to World of Wonder (the production company that made the show). They loved it, and sent me into the capable arms of Lucian Piane, a fabulous producer and musician who produced the Latin-flavored version of “Stunning” you hear on the show. I recorded those vocals at his place after a long day of Yachting for Episode 03, still wearing that cute little sailor outfit.

But back to the club… It was a whirlwind of activity. We were supposed to be in there fairly early, but strangely enough that “Grey’s Anatomy” spinoff was already there filming something else, and they stayed for hours longer than they had booked, making us run later than we’d wanted. My brain was going a mile-a-minute, working on remembering the song, choreographing some kind of dance routine (I had about 45 minutes total to work something out!) and getting ready. Andy and Melissa had found a gorgeous corset for me to wear, but thanks to the size of my “chest”, it was so tight above my waist that I literally could not take in a deep breath. There were several times I thought I might actually pass out, because I couldn’t get a full breath in on top of dancing. Autumn did an amazing job with my hair and makeup (as she always does) and I capped everything off by SuperGlueing my chandelier earrings on, to ensure they’d stay on no matter what. This is an old showgirl trick, don’t worry, I’m used to it.




The boys really impressed me with their good-natured willingness to get out there and perform. Fear of public speaking (being on stage, basically) is one of the most common fears around, and it wasn’t something they were used to doing.

But wait! What the heck, Mark didn’t want to do it and he was the only one in the bunch who had LOTS of experience being on stage in the wrestling ring! Amidst me getting ready, Andrea came to me and told me that Mark wasn’t going to participate, and I was very surprised. I was too busy getting ready to think about it much, so I just shook my head and said, “We’ll see, I guess.” As you saw on the show, he finally came around to going on stage, but then he did what was perhaps the worst thing of all his antics in my mind: He spit water all over the judges! Wow. Just wow.


Mike won the challenge, according to the judges’ scores, and he also won in my eyes because he went out and socialized with everyone comfortably. I think most of Mark’s problems in this episode stemmed from his major discomfort with the people and the club scene, which was important for me to see since that can sometimes be a part of my life. Even if I never go into another cabaret or burlesque club again, I still want to be with someone who can handle themselves well and have fun in most any environment.

Mike’s prize was a ride through Hollywood with me in my limousine. Now at this point, I’m still getting to know the guys, but I think it’s pretty obvious that I was struck with a strong attraction to Mike right away. I was very curious to see where the limo ride might “take us”, so to speak, after the way my time with Rich on the yacht turned out, who was also very attractive to me.


Mike and I decided to sit quietly and discuss our favorite charity and volunteer work while showing photos of the orphans we were sponsoring in Ghana. What?!? We did!


The next morning, Andrea was kind enough to bring me breakfast in bed, and we dished a little on the limo ride. Now I admit to a little bit of a double standard, as I wouldn’t want the guys dishing on our 1-on-1 time too much with each other. But they’ve all just met, and Andrea is my longtime best friend.

After I got fully awake, it was off to the Mansion to spend some time with Peter. Peter is such a sweetheart, with the cutest puppy-dog eyes and disposition! Whenever I was around him, even though I thought he was handsome, I tended to feel “big sisterly” and want to… big sister him. Whatever that means. The other guys had all made some kind of impression or other in 1-on-1 time (even Mark!), but Peter was still an enigma to me and so I needed to figure things out before we went on to the next elimination.

We had some delicious Mint Juleps in the game room and a nice, long talk. Actually, we had several Mint Juleps, but I am a fairly experienced drinker (is that something I should brag about? ha ha) so I was doing pretty well. Peter probably lives a less wild life than I do, so the booze was hitting him. I didn’t mind, since I wanted him to feel relaxed and lose some of his nervous energy. We had a great time, but I could see clearly that he and I would be better friends than romantic partners.

So even though Mark had thoroughly shaken my belief that he should still be there, I still found him intriguing and wanted to see if someone like him could ever calm down and fir into things with a little less friction. Remember, I had NO IDEA about the things Mark was saying to the guys in the house when I wasn’t there. I decided that because of our lack of chemistry, which is no one’s fault, I had to let Peter go in the final elimination that night. I felt really terrible, just as I had the other times. Doing this has been one of the most personally difficult challenges I’ve faced in a long time, in terms of my social boundaries and standards of conduct. Usually, I’d do anything to avoid hurting someone’s feelings or upsetting them. Maybe I’m flattering myself, ha ha, I’m sure Peter has moved on quite well, but in that moment it was difficult. Goodbye, Peter! I wish you well!

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Actress, Diary, Transamerican Love Story