Plus, my electrologist says my facial hair is no where near as dense as her other tg clients. I guess maybe it is due to this and the fact that I lived a pretty sedentary life.

The extra height T-girls have wouldn’t be a problem if women didn’t insist on taller guys. Unfortunately for me & other short guys there isn’t any way to get taller so we’re shut right out.

The truth is more complex. Simply being ‘a thin and feminine child’ does not make someone transsexual any more than being athletic and outwardly masculine does not. The actual factors of family, place, and time also seem to be forgotten in this fantasy. Life in my Junior High and High School would have been a lonely hell if I’d had come out as transsexual back then. And if we’re going to be totally honest with ourselves, we’d all heard of transsexuals in the news by age 15 – and we could have done something about it – so let’s not totally whitewash the past.

Adolescence is a time when a person’s body and mind undergo tremendous changes, to alter one’s appearance with any kind of surgery at that time is recipe for future disaster. Why do surgeons resist doing breast implants on nose jobs on teenagers?.. because they know that they will continue to change till their mid 20’s. And how many of know trans-women who’ve gotten breast implants at the start, only to regret it after seeing the natural development 5-7 years of hormones brings?.. Picture a 12 year old girl and see her at again at 19 – voila!

We must also remember that gender surgeons are not gods – talented as they are, they are also their own best salesmen who are in business to get you and me to buy as many of their services as possible. If you don’t think this about money – compare how many surgeons there were in 15 years ago, and the rates they charged, with the number of surgeons and rates today.

I started transition in ’92 and right up till the eve of gender surgery in ’95, each doctor tried to up-sell me on something – you’ll already be under, so get ‘Combo #1’ and save money on new breasts, cheeks, and lipo! Take ‘Combo #2’ and we’ll throw in new nose! Thankfully I was too broke to take them up any of it, but it left me with a decade of bad body image.

To the larger point, genetic women come in all shapes, sizes, and degrees of beauty. We as community need to realize that acceptance as a woman does mean we have to look like the cover of Vogue – few genetic women actually do, yet hundreds of millions of them still live happy, productive lives.

We should all take care of ourselves and the desire to look our best, that’s true, but making ‘passing’ dependant solely on looks – and not on what lies within the soul – leads to a caricature of femininity (and an addiction to plastic surgery).

No one can turn back time, so if we’re going to daydream about being better women, dream forward and start living the life you’ve always dreamed of.

Hugs!
Denise

Do I regret not transitioning sooner ? Yes , absolutely but … perhaps I would have had the life I always really wanted but one thing troubles me, I might not have known all the wonderful people I have met (including you ) and that makes me sad a bit . There is little time left for regret in a truly full life I think and now I am just thankful for being born when I was. Had I known how good I would feel, I definitely would have but , that is for the next lifetime. Brilliant.

K